|
Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most
accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send
you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the
numbers off the house when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their
address. The new place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure
it works so well. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We ain't
seen 'em since.
The weather ain't bad here either. It rained twice last week, the first
time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you asked me to send, your Uncle Billy Jack said it would
too heavy and cost too much to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we
cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were real worried about it,
because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Oh, and your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what
it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. I'll keep you
posted on that. The baby looks just like your brother.
Your cousin Billy Ray fell into a vat of whiskey last week. Some men tried
to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated. He burned for two and a half days.
Three of your old school friends went off a bridge in a pick up truck.
Cletus was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Roscoe and Buck
were in the bed of the truck and died. The Sheriff said it appears they
weren't able to get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news right now. Nothing much out of the normal has
happened.
Love Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
|
Author Unknown...
|
[Back To Junk Drawer] |
|
|
|
|
