Only In America...

• can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a *diet* coke.
• do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
• do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage
• do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
• do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight
• do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
• do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
• can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House